


Of Museums and Misfiring Directives

by Serendipity8832



Series: Mochaccinos 'Verse [2]
Category: 6 Underground (2019)
Genre: Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Museums, One accidentally caused the problem he was trying to avoid, Overuse Of Parentheses, Set before the Movie, just to be on the safe side, rated Mature for language and a sexual situation, this is the closest to smut y'all are ever gonna get from me, two five and three are only there at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29326635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serendipity8832/pseuds/Serendipity8832
Summary: “…try not to get caught fucking in an alley or something.  I know you’re ghosts but we really don’t need another public nudity scandal.”Or:  An alternate version of Of Mochaccinos and Missed Opportunities in which Six and Four do actually sneak into the Uffizi.  Yes, that quote from the original is there for a reason.
Relationships: Four | Billy/Six (6 Underground)
Series: Mochaccinos 'Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154108
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I strongly recommend you read Of Mochaccinos and Missed Opportunities before you read this. It’s not going to make a whole lot of sense at the beginning otherwise.
> 
> Now would be a good time to say that although I have never been to the Uffizi, I can almost guarantee that they would have much better security than I have made it seem in this fic, so please don’t try this out yourself. If you want to see The Birth of Venus (which is actually there), buy some tickets on the black market or something. Also, wait until the pandemic is over. This is also a good time to say that although yo puedo hablar un poco español, I do not speak any Italian, so please don’t be shy to correct my Microsoft-translated phrases. Last disclaimer: I stole “Oh, nothing’s ever locked” from Now You See Me. This isn’t a NYSM/6 Underground crossover (trust me, you’ll know if/when that happens), but it was too perfect for me to pass up.
> 
>  ~~I realize that these events would radically alter the conversation on the rooftop. I didn’t include that now, but if I feel like it, I might write out the alternate conversation and add it as a second chapter.~~ I did it.

“Damn,” Six whispered. “I didn’t bring money for tickets.” He glanced back at Four, who put his hands up.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t even have anything before I died.” He winced as soon as the words left his mouth, but if Six noticed his slip up, he chose not to mention it. Instead, he looked back at the archway, and Four followed his gaze. There were two security guards checking tickets, and Four knew he and Six were thinking the same thing. They could probably sneak into the museum fairly easily, but they’d been instructed to fly under the radar, and getting caught would definitely put them on the radar.

But then Six smiled deviously at Four over his shoulder, and he knew he was a lost cause.

“So, how are we going to go about this?” he asked. Four tapped a finger on his chin.

“The way I see it, we’ve got two options. One, we try to slip through there with the crowd and hope they don’t notice that they didn’t check our tickets.”

“And two?”

It was Four’s turn to sport a devilish grin. “We find our own entrance.”

In the end, all they had to do was walk just a bit further down the street until they could cut around the side of the Uffizi, running along a barely-used side street. Four was already scanning the buildings opposite the museum, looking for the best way to climb up and access the roof (he’d find a way to let Six in from there), when Six skidded to a halt next to him.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked as Six approached a utility door in the museum wall.

“Finding our entrance,” he replied as he tried the doorknob. Four could see from where he stood that it didn’t turn the slightest bit.

“Looks like it’s locked to me.”

There was that smile again, although Six didn’t look back at Four this time, keeping his eyes on the door as he pulled two slender metal pins from his pocket. “Oh, nothing’s ever locked.”

“I am just learning all sorts of new things about you today,” Four commented as casually as he could manage. He knew from past experience that picking locks was no easy feat, but he wouldn’t have guessed that by watching Six. The lock clicked in seconds, and Six pushed the door open triumphantly.

“Ta-da!” he said, gesturing for Four to go ahead of him. As he passed through the doorway, Four looked back at Six.

“This isn’t fair, I didn’t even get to show off my skills.”

“Well, One told you to stay on the ground.” Six closed the door silently behind them, sparing a glance at the alarm console on the wall. Of course, since they were breaking in during visiting hours, it was disarmed. “This way, you don’t have to disobey our infallible leader.” They both carefully didn’t mention the other thing One had told them not to do.

Although there was nobody else in the staff-only hallway, slipping unnoticed into the public part of the museum proved to be a slightly more difficult task. Six pressed his eye to the crack at the edge of the door, while Four dropped to his stomach to listen for footsteps passing by. It was a busy day for the museum, which left them waiting behind the door far longer than either of them were comfortable. After five minutes, Four could feel the anxiety crackling around them like static electricity. After ten, he could have cut it with a butterknife. So when he counted three seconds since the last footfall faded out, he barely restrained his rushed “Go go go!” to a whisper.

A solitary figure disappeared around a corner as they tumbled out into the hallway, trying desperately to look like they belonged, or at least like they hadn’t just broken into one of the most famous museums in Italy. It took a few moments of deep breathing and hurriedly straightening clothes (which made Four realize they probably looked less like they’d broken in and more like they’d been doing unspeakable things in some back room somewhere, which of course necessitated even more deep breathing), but eventually they reached a point of presentability that allowed them to walk down the hallway like the tourists they were supposed to be. 

Four followed as Six pointed out paintings and stopped to read plaques, reading them over his shoulder most of the time. When they were walking, though, he alternated between gazing up at the ceiling, wondering what it would be like to be on the other side of it, running across the roof, and watching Six out of the corner of his eye. It was obvious that he wasn’t as well-versed in the realm of art as he was in mochaccinos, but he really seemed to be enjoying the aesthetic appeal of just about everything they passed. (Once, Four caught Six staring at him; the other man looked away, blushing profusely, and Four would have teased him endlessly if he hadn’t done the same thing.)

“Come look at this!” Six called, beckoning Four over despite the fact that they had been walking shoulder to shoulder. When his flailing hand whacked Four’s arm, he just pulled him closer to the huge painting that had drawn his attention.

It featured a naked woman standing on a seashell floating in the sea, with a man holding another woman to the left and a third woman dressed in a flower-patterned dress, presenting a different but equally flowery cape of some sort to the woman in the center. And it really was enormous; Four guessed it was at least three meters across. He couldn’t imagine the time and energy that would go into painting something like that.

“‘The Birth of Venus,’” Six read off the plaque next to the masterpiece. 

Four nodded. “That would make sense, then. It’s an interpretation of the myth that Aphrodite rose out of the sea, except here she’s on a shell, not seafoam.” When he glanced over, Six was giving him an appraising look.

“I guess you’re not the only one learning new things today,” he said. “I never pegged you for a secret mythology nerd.”

Four shrugged, although internally he was strangely proud of himself for surprising Six. “What can I say? I’m a complex person.”

“Yes, you are,” Six replied, and though it started out amused, it faded to something else by the end, something that Four couldn’t quite define but seemed familiar all the same.

They continued their inspection of the museum, wandering around until they made it back to the staff-only door they’d first come through while carefully avoiding the front door (“We can’t just walk out of there, they might get suspicious because we didn’t pass them earlier”). It was late enough in the day that the hallway was clear, so they took the opportunity to slip back out unnoticed. At least, unnoticed until they were halfway down the back hall (too far to go back to the main part of the museum, but not close enough to the external door to make running worth it) and a door creaked from down a side corridor.

“Shit!” Four hissed as Six whispered, “We’re _so_ fucked!” They whirled around frantically, searching for any way out of the mess they’d found themselves in as footsteps echoed down the hallway. Four had nearly given up hope and was preparing to test the theory that he could outrun a security guard when Six grabbed his wrist, ran three steps up the hall, and unceremoniously yanked Four through a nondescript grey door. They closed it just before the steps turned the corner, neither daring to breathe until the sounds passed their door without so much as pausing.

They exhaled at the same time, breath mingling in the small space between their faces. A quick glance around revealed that Six had found a janitor’s closet. It was a minor miracle that neither of them had knocked over the mop and bucket on the floor by their feet. Suddenly, the reality of their situation hit Four, and he nearly choked trying to hold back his laughter. He was fighting a losing battle; apparently, all it took was one look at Four for Six to burst out laughing, and really, that was the end of it. Four found himself in a fit of hysterics, face pressed into Six’s shoulder to muffle the sound. Six wasn’t much better off, thumping Four’s back as he gasped for breath. Eventually they settled down enough that they were no longer violently shaking and Four pulled away, though of course he couldn’t go very far. He knew that he was still grinning like a maniac, but for the life of him, he couldn’t do a thing about it.

Six’s eyes sparkled in the low light seeping in through the cracks around the door, giving him a mischievous, fey-like appearance. Four could feel as he swayed slightly closer.

“Do you remember what One said?” he whispered, breath ghosting over Four’s cheek. His smile dropped off of his face, out of place in the sudden intensity surrounding them. When he swallowed, he could hear his own throat click, which meant Six could probably hear it too.

“About not getting caught fucking in an alley?” He could barely force the words past his lips; they came out much breathier than he would have liked, had he still been able to pay such things any mind.

Six nodded, their noses brushing with the motion. Four was going cross-eyed trying to keep looking at him. “What about it?”

“Well,” Six started, fingers slipping into the belt loops on Four’s jeans, “we’re not in an alley.”

When he closed the distance between their lips, the little voice in the back of Four’s head telling him this was an _extremely_ bad idea went up in a puff of smoke.

The second time footsteps passed by the door, neither Six nor Four heard anything until far too late. In all fairness, the guard couldn’t have found it pleasant to open the door and see Six on his knees, one of Four’s hands fisted in his hair and Four’s own head tipped back against the shelves behind him, but Four still thought that they’d gotten the rather worse end of the deal. The guard was at least nice enough to let them make themselves semi-decent, which was his first mistake. 

“I have to take you to la polizia,” he told them once Four’s fly was zipped. Four nodded as he pressed his fingertips to the back of Six’s hand, the only warning he gave the other man before he took off down the hall. It seemed to have worked; he could hear a second set of heavy breaths to his right as he was running.

“Hey! Stop!” the guard shouted, giving chase if the pounding footfalls behind them were any indication, not that it mattered. As it turned out, his theory was correct: Four could outrun a museum security guard, and so could Six. They practically fell out the utility door, pausing to lean against the alley wall and catch their breath. Six had his arms wrapped around his stomach and seemed to be struggling to hold in laughter, and soon they were both giggling like schoolchildren.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” Four leaned his head against the wall behind him, desperately trying to slow his heart rate to something sustainable. He abandoned the fight when Six’s hand found his, long fingers wrapping around his palm. When he turned his head, it was to see Six watching him with the slightest upturn to his lips. Four was struck with the sudden urge to kiss him, and what with everything that had gone down mere moments before, he couldn’t think of a reason not to.

“Mmm, you think there’s any chance we’ll be able to finish what we started?” Six murmured against his lips, eliciting a small chuckle from Four.

“Probably not,” Four mumbled back. “After all, we’re actually in an alley now.”

“Eccolo lì!” Both men whipped their heads up to look back at the door they’d escaped from.

“Fuck, there’s three now!” Four started sprinting to the sound of Six’s near continuous “Shit, shit, shit!” This time, neither of them stopped until they’d made it all the way back to the neon green beacon in front of the café. Oddly enough, they weren’t the only blond and brunette duo flying through the crowd: Two and Five reached the car at the same moment Six and Four did.

“What happened?” Four wheezed as they all collapsed against the side of the car.

“I was an innocent bystander!” Five gasped as Two said, “It wasn’t my fault!” her voice somehow steady despite the fact that she had obviously just beat a hasty retreat from some sort of disaster.

“Anyway, why were you two running?” Five asked. Six and Four shared an apprehensive look.

“That’s not really important,” Six told them. “I think we have bigger issues, so everyone in.”

Four made a mad dash for the front passenger seat, leaving Two and Five to tumble into the backseat as Six rounded the car to the driver’s side. Just as he was taking his seat, a shout pierced the air behind them and Four stuck his head out to see Three barreling up the street from the opposite direction that Two and Five had run from. Five held the door open for him, and as he practically fell through it onto the seat, he grimaced.

“This one’s on me, guys. Lo siento,” he gasped.

“It’s fine, just go,” Four said, the last bit directed at Six, who was already pulling onto the street.

They managed to last all of five seconds before they both broke down, howling with laughter. “Oh God,” Six chuckled, hands gripping the steering wheel tighter than was strictly necessary. “We are _never_ telling One.”

“God no,” Four replied, before the realization that something very bad had just occurred broke over him. He saw his growing horror reflected in Six’s eyes just before the driver pulled a (probably illegal and definitely dangerous) U-turn in the middle of the road.

“ _Fuck,_ we forgot One!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m Six in museums: I know jack shit about art, I just wander around going “ooh, pretty!” I’m also the closet mythology nerd (I blame Percy Jackson), so even though I don’t really know if Four would be like that, I included it for myself.
> 
> The reason I didn’t have them sneak into the museum in the original version is that Six obviously hadn’t been in it before in the movie, since he didn’t even recognize David. However, I just looked it up and David isn’t actually in the Uffizi, so I feel like he can be excused for that. Anyway, the justification I came up with before those annoying little facts got in the way is that the only piece of art Six was really paying attention to was Four, so he kind of just forgot everything else by the next day.
> 
> I think that Four would spend most of his time thinking about either Six or skywalking, as they are the two great loves of his life. At least to me, running around on top of buildings seems like just as much of a mental game as a physical one, since when you’re up there you have to know exactly where you’re going as well as where you can go in the event that your plan changes suddenly. Because of that, I feel like Four would always be looking for routes and planning out alternates, even in places where he knew he wouldn’t be running them, just to keep his mind sharp.
> 
> Having Six be able to pick locks was inspired partly by Jack Wilder, Dave Franco’s character in Now You See Me, and partly by my desire for Six to have more skills than just driving (not that he isn’t an amazing driver). His character just has so much potential for a mysterious, unexpected past and I want to explore it. Again, this isn’t supposed to be a NYSM/6 Underground crossover, but that might be happening in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to zommijin. Your comment on Mochaccinos gave me the motivation I so desperately needed to write this. Thank you so much!
> 
> I was going to write and edit this in time to post it before Valentine’s Day was over, but then I played Among Us instead (brown if you’re reading this, it’s your bestest friend blue).

It was a beautiful night, Four thought from his position stretched out on his back on the shingles of the hotel roof, head pillowed on his hands. Just the slightest bit cool, the sky clear, as many stars as one could hope to see in a city like Florence visible in it. He took a long moment to just breathe the night air in.

Discounting the sounds of the city (club music, car horns, and sirens mixing in a strange, but not unpleasant, sort of symphony), the peace was only disturbed by the sound of a footfall by the edge of the roof. Four propped himself up on his elbows to look toward the noise and was only slightly surprised to see Six picking his way across the roof toward him. He refrained from speaking until Six was close enough to sit next to him, although he didn’t bother trying to contain his smile.

“How’d you get up here?” he asked once Six was firmly seated.

“Well, I didn’t go out the window like you,” the other man quipped, earning a soft huff of laughter from Four. He nodded his head back the way he came. “Fire escape. Got me most of the way up here, and it wasn’t difficult to climb the rest.”

Four nodded, already planning to use it to get down, if only to make sure Six didn’t hurt himself on the return trip. He’d be damned if he let anything happen to him now. Not that he wouldn’t have looked out for him before, of course, but, well… things had changed. Things that encouraged Four to draw his leg up far enough to hook his foot behind Six’s ankle, things that encouraged Six to swat at his shoulder playfully in return. Things that encouraged Four to be impulsive for once in his life (a lot of people assumed that his job required impulsivity but it was actually quite the opposite: every move had to be carefully considered since a single poor decision could send him plummeting a hundred feet to his painful death).

In this case, the impulsive action was pushing himself up and to the side so that he was kneeling over Six, his back to the edge of the roof (although it was barely sloped and they were far enough from the open air that he wasn’t worried).

“Hey there,” Six said in response to Four’s sudden movement, leaning back on his hands and gazing up into Four’s eyes. 

There must have been something in the air, some predilection to romance, because even knowing that the other man was able to see exactly what he was doing, Four let himself just look at Six. The ambient light from the city reflected softly off of his smile, making it look like it was legitimately shining. There were stars glittering in his eyes, tens of thousands of them, entire universes contained in his irises, and Four had never thought of himself as a sap (hadn’t allowed himself the possibility, after his last girlfriend had let him dangle from a necklace by his _teeth_ before falling nearly to his death), but maybe he was. Maybe Italy, maybe the night, maybe _Six_ , a voice in the back of his head whispered, made him that way. Six looked like an angel, he really did, and for a moment Four wondered how he could have possibly gotten so lucky. He was _dead_ , and a criminal besides, he wasn’t supposed to get things—people—like this, people who could light up a room just by walking into it, who had enough crazy in them to keep up with him, who somehow wanted him back.

“You okay?” Six asked, smile shrinking slightly in confusion. Four must have been staring too long.

“Yeah, just—” _in awe_ , his brain supplied. _Amazed. Overwhelmed._ “So damn happy,” he finally settled on, and he was. It would be hard to get him to admit it, but his heart felt so full it could burst, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about that. Six rolled his eyes, but even in the low light Four could see his cheeks grow pink.

“Oh, come here,” he said, reaching a hand up to the back of Four’s neck to pull him closer. Four watched his eyes slide shut a moment before their lips connected and he lost himself in the other man.

When he came up for air, Six was lying flat on his back, pinned between Four and the hotel roof, his hand tangled in Four’s hair. Four shifted over slightly, tracing Six’s jaw with his lips, then moving down to mouth at his neck.

“I am too,” Six murmured, a little breathily. “So damn happy.” Four smiled against his skin.

“Good.” Although he left the _because you’re the reason_ unsaid, he was pretty sure Six knew anyway.

They stayed up on the roof, trading kisses and whispers, until Four’s phone vibrated in his back pocket. He’d been prepared to ignore it, but Six pulled the device out (while possibly using it as an excuse to palm Four’s ass) and looked at the message displayed on the lock screen.

“‘Where the fuck are you?’” he read out. “‘One’s getting suspicious.’ This is from Five, by the way.”

“Right, well, I suppose that means nothing’s private anymore.” Four’s complaint had no real heat to it, and judging by his chuckle, Six was well aware of that.

“Come on,” Six said, pushing gently at Four’s shoulder until he rolled off of him. “We should probably go. Can’t have One worrying about us the night before the big day.”

Four was reluctant to agree to that; he really didn’t want this to end. In fact, he nearly said _Fuck One_ out loud, but Six had made another valid point, so with the mission in mind, he allowed Six to pull him back to the fire escape. Besides, they were young and legally dead. After tomorrow, they’d have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *that meme of Grant Gustin squatting in front of Oliver Queen’s grave except instead of Oliver Queen it’s me and instead of Grant Gustin it’s kissing scenes*
> 
> FUCK it got sad again! My sincerest apologies. I really meant for this to just be fluffy and sweet.
> 
> God, I hope no one in my family finds this. I value my reputation as a hard-hearted cynic too much to bear it if they realize I’m actually a closet romantic.


End file.
